Flat Top Follies
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| Forget about the fact that water weighs 8.33 pounds per gallon. You're an entrepreneur with thousands of gallons of water on your roof. Open a swimming pool, start a fish hatchery, do something. You have a gold mine over your head. | Your foam roof bubbled up and you thought, "I'll hire the same guy to fix it". | |
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| Don't tell me - The guy who mows your grass forgot his ladder. | A flat roof repair kit. It doesn't come with the roof. You have to buy it yourself the next day. Oh, and the labor is on you also. | |
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| The flat roof didn't work so they tried foam. The foam didn't work so they tried more foam. Looks like the tarp isn't working either. | The storm is over, the flat roof blew off, the Standing Seam roof stayed in place. Which roof would you like to have? | |
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| These are not on the endangered species list. You find them on every flat roof. They're called "Buckets of Tar". | It may be a small tree now but soon it will reduce your energy bill by providing shade for a large portion of your roof. That's called energy efficiency in the flat roofing business. | |
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| Even flat roofers know that sloped metal will get the water away from your building. They just don't install it correctly. | There is nothing more beautiful than a flat roof in the fall - Only flat roofers get this view. | |
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| Think it through. Do you really think another bucket of tar will fix the problem? | Here is a nice new Standing Seam Metal Roof By BRB Roofing. Look what the poor people all around it are stuck with. | |
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| Forensic evidence has proven that flat roofs are installed by clowns…or, at least Big Foot…but I think they’re clowns. | Standing Seam metal roofing verses flat roofing. You decide. | |
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| Don't blame the flat roofer. You're the one who bought his sales pitch on foam roofing. | ||
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If you are lonely and need someone to talk to, have a flat roof installed. The flat roofer will constantly be over to patch the leaks and you'll have a new friend!
We keep trying to tell people, "FLATtery" will get you nowhere. |
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