Flat Top Follies

Flooded Roof Bubbled up Foam Roof
Forget about the fact that water weighs 8.33 pounds per gallon. You're an entrepreneur with thousands of gallons of water on your roof. Open a swimming pool, start a fish hatchery, do something. You have a gold mine over your head. Your foam roof bubbled up and you thought, "I'll hire the same guy to fix it".
Grass growing on roof Buckets and Buckets of Tar
Don't tell me - The guy who mows your grass forgot his ladder. A flat roof repair kit. It doesn't come with the roof. You have to buy it yourself the next day. Oh, and the labor is on you also.
A roof with lots of foam and a tarp being blown by the wind. It looks wet. The covering from the flat roof has blown onto the metal roof beside it
The flat roof didn't work so they tried foam. The foam didn't work so they tried more foam. Looks like the tarp isn't working either. The storm is over, the flat roof blew off, the Standing Seam roof stayed in place. Which roof would you like to have?
Buckets of tar scattered around a flat-top roof A tree is growing out of the roof.
These are not on the endangered species list. You find them on every flat roof. They're called "Buckets of Tar". It may be a small tree now but soon it will reduce your energy bill by providing shade for a large portion of your roof. That's called energy efficiency in the flat roofing business.
Someone has angled a piece of metal out a window to keep the rain away from the building Another tree growing out of a roof
Even flat roofers know that sloped metal will get the water away from your building. They just don't install it correctly. There is nothing more beautiful than a flat roof in the fall - Only flat roofers get this view.
Another flooded roof, in the process of retarring An aerial view of the standing seam metal roof gleaming in the sun, the surrounding flat-tops are ugly in comparison
Think it through. Do you really think another bucket of tar will fix the problem? Here is a nice new Standing Seam Metal Roof By BRB Roofing. Look what the poor people all around it are stuck with.
 A very large footprint in a foam roof, there is a normal foot for scale. The large foot print is almost 5 times the size of the regular foot. Another image of the metal roof putting the flat-tops to shame
Forensic evidence has proven that flat roofs are installed by clowns…or, at least Big Foot…but I think they’re clowns. Standing Seam metal roofing verses flat roofing. You decide.
A foam roof that has bubbled up  
Don't blame the flat roofer. You're the one who bought his sales pitch on foam roofing.  

If you are lonely and need someone to talk to, have a flat roof installed. The flat roofer will constantly be over to patch the leaks and you'll have a new friend!

 

 

 

 

 

We keep trying to tell people, "FLATtery" will get you nowhere.

 Whoever thought hot tar on a flat surface would make a great roof ought to be rewarded. May we suggest Feathers?


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